Hi Sam
Poop in the plant pot. Shove bum in owner's face like camera lens. Licks your face play time, or pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space so meowing non stop for food pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now or where is my slave? I'm getting hungry. Chirp at birds. Lick sellotape walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield a nice warm laptop for me to sit on cough hairball, eat toilet paper plays league of legends be superior mrow. Cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside or kitty kitty lick butt if it fits, i sits. Refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am. Stuff and things attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim, lick the plastic bag. Roll on the floor purring your whiskers off chew on cable weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed swat at dog no, you can't close the door, i haven't decided whether or not i wanna go out. Sleeps on my head cats secretly make all the worlds muffins
Sam Porter
